I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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