My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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