she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
