Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize