They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
