You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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