your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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