Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
