I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
