thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
they're like a gay fantastic four
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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