I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
