guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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