i may or may not be watching the land before time
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
