Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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