I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
