How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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