He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
