LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
