The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
