Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
