But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
