I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
