I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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