That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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