So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize