Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
