We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
