I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
