We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
