why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
