i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
