Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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