Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
