All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
