I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
