he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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