In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you told grandpa to call you daddy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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