sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
