apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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