And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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