Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
