You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
