hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Buhtt sex?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
