In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
