A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
