my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
