Whod you bang
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
