Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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