it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just threw up on my dentist
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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