he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
